Asking for stories
Stories can be shy creatures
One of the biggest challenges when starting to write story-eliciting questions is learning to write questions whose answers are stories. I remember listening to audiotapes in a project where people who had worked at a factory for decades were asked to tell stories about working at the factory (which was about to close). Over and over I heard the interviewer say, "Do you remember your first day at the factory?" And almost every time the interviewee replied, "Yes I do." and there followed a long silence while I cringed.
For any question used to elicit a story, try answering it in every other way than by telling a story -- because people will try to find a way to do that. If you can't find any way to answer the question except by telling a story, it's a good story-eliciting question.
Ask what happened
I put this up front because I've found that adding the question "What happened?" to nearly any story-eliciting question can cure most problems of perception. Compare these two questions:
- Can you remember your first day at work?
- Can you remember your first day at work? What happened on that day?
The first question breaks the cardinal rule (asking a question whose answer is not a story) and the second doesn't. The "what happened" bandage can fix many an ailing question. Of course it can get irritating to have "what happened" stuck onto the end of every question you ask, but sometimes it is not necessary, and when it is, it can be reworded in many ways, like asking what people did or said. You can also add it into the question itself, as with "Can you tell us what happened on your first day at work?"
Directed and undirected questions
A directed question is one that directs the person to talk about an issue you care about. Examples of directed questions are:
- Was there ever a time when you were surprised by how connected or disconnected you were to the community?
- Have you ever felt overwhelmed with information?
- Can you remember ever waking up and not wanting to go to work because you felt you couldn't face such a hostile environment again?
An undirected story-eliciting question is one that doesn't ask about a particular issue, but about the person's experiences in general. Examples of undirected questions are:
- What happened on your first day at work?
- Tell me about your wedding.
- Can you remember your worst moment as a doctor?
When you ask undirected questions you tend to get more raw emotions and honest reflections. People love to talk about things like the day they met their spouse or the moment they first skydived and so on. The disadvantage of using undirected questions is that you cannot control what people will talk about, and only a fraction of the stories may be about the topics you care about. Directed questions focus on the issues you want to know about, but because you are asking people for something very specific, people will be more likely to try to give you what they think you want rather than speaking freely from experience.
If your topics are very broad or if you care about several things you might be able to ask an undirected question, then ask people a question about the story that captures what topic it is about. For example, if you wanted to know about trust, you might have a question about how important trust is to the story. If your topics are narrow or few, or you think people will be unlikely to talk about the topics unless asked specifically to, you will need to ask directed questions. Another approach is to ask people two or more questions and balance them between directed and undirected, seeking both goals (authenticity and specificity) at once.
Ways to ask
There are many ways to ask for stories, and there are many opinions about what works and what doesn't. There isn't one best way, but each has its advantages and disadvantages in different situations and with different groups of people. These are some of the types of story-eliciting questions I've seen used and the results I've seen from them.
Asking directly for stories
can have unpredictable results
Asking for stories
You can directly ask for stories by saying something like:
- Can you give us a story about health care in your community?
- Could you tell us a story about useful road signs?
- Could you share a story with us about what courage means to you?
- Have you heard any stories about buying prescription drugs over the internet?
The advantage of this approach is that it makes it perfectly clear what you want. If the people you will be asking to tell stories are high on one of the risk factors (very eager to "do things right", or asked about something very personal, or apt to think the whole thing is stupid), it may be necessary to mention that you actually want stories to avoid people sidestepping less obvious requests.
The disadvantage of this approach is that people may react negatively to such a question because it seems to them that you are asking them to give you something that belongs to them. People have a stronger "why do you need to know that" radar today than they used to (because every time they buy a thumbtack online they are asked for a ton of information) and may be wary. If you are asking questions anonymously and asynchronously, people may walk away in droves without your knowing why.
Another disadvantage is that people aren't always aware of whether they tell stories or not. Some people say "I never tell stories" and then proceed to. Other people present themselves as great storytellers, then proceed to deliver opinions and lectures, but tell no stories. I remember transcribing an audiotape of a group session where a person told story after story, all of them interesting and useful, and then -- literally in the next breath -- said, "But I can't think of any stories to tell." (It's a good thing I was listening to a tape and not in the room with them, because my jaw dropped to the floor.) In other words, there is absolutely no correlation between whether people think they tell stories and whether they actually tell stories. So if you ask explicitly for stories, you run the risk of people who think they don't tell stories (but actually do) turning away with an "I never tell stories" response.
So in general I don't recommend this approach unless you are working with a group of people who are very unlikely to tell a story unless you are very specific in asking for one.
Asking for memories
An indirect way of asking for stories is to ask for memories (or recollections, reminiscences, experiences, history, reflections, remembrances). This implies looking back over the past, which hints at storytelling, but doesn't come right out and ask "for" a story. Some questions in this style might be:
- Can you describe some of your memories from your years working here?
- Can you tell us some of your history with this client?
- Can you share some of your experiences with your headache medicine?
- What are some of your reminisces about your career?
The advantage of this approach is that it avoids putting off people who won't want to "give" you a story. The disadvantage is that it may end up collecting too many half-stories -- fragments that don't really give you the "power of story". For example, people might say "My experience was that the headache medicine was okay" or "My memory is that this has been a great place to work." You may decide that you don't mind whether you get whole or half stories, especially if your storytellers are going to be very reluctant to speak. I'd advise using this approach only if you think people will be unwilling to tell stories if you use other methods.
Asking via fictional scenario
A fictional scenario can jar people out of indifference
This approach involves setting up a fictional situation, then asking for a story in response. For example:
- A parent you met at your school's open house calls you and says she is going to send her son to another school because "nobody here cares anymore". What story might you tell, either from your own experience or that you heard about, to help her decide what to do?
- An old friend is in town and wants to see the sights. You suggest they visit the plant where you work. The friend refuses, saying "I'm not going where they make that stuff!" What story might you tell the friend to encourage them to visit your plant?
- (for a teenager) Your best friend calls you in tears complaining that her parents have grounded her on the eve of a big party. What story might you tell her from your own experience that would help her get through it?
This approach is particularly useful when the people you are asking to tell stories will not be willing to tell you their real opinion about a sensitive topic. Asking them about a fictional situation navigates them past their automatic reaction and may get them to talk about a touchy subject when a more direct question would not.
However, as with the "asking for memories" question, this can be hit-or-miss because people sometimes reply to fictional-scenario questions with one of two misfires:
- they refer to the story they would tell without actually telling it ("I'd tell them about the time I was grounded"), or
- they forget all about telling a story and just say what they would tell the person ("I'd tell them to give my school another try")
If the group will be very reluctant or closed-mouthed or unwilling to admit things, this approach might prod them to reveal things they wouldn't have otherwise, so it can be valuable in that situation. In other situations it may not be worth the risk to use it.
A strong example can bring out reactions
that would not otherwise surface
Asking via told story
This approach involves telling a story, then asking people to respond to it. For example:
Please read this story.Does that remind you of any stories you have heard, or things that happened to you, at the airport?
- I just came to the airport to see off my cousin, but they asked for identification and treated me like some kind of criminal. And the irony is how they have all these signs saying how wonderful their restaurants are. I'm not coming here ever again!
The advantage of this approach is that it is a strong focuser: it helps people understand exactly what you want. The disadvantage is that it is a strong focuser: it helps people understand exactly what you want. This means that the performers out there will put on a show for you (and try to match the presented story in some way they think is best, but which may not be obvious to you) rather than reflect honestly on their experiences. If your storytellers suffer from the "need to succeed" problem, this approach is not the best one. However, if your storytellers are exceptionally meek or especially likely to wander off course or lecture, this approach can bring out more stories than otherwise.
Asking for a point in time can help people choose events
Asking for a point in time
This approach asks people to select a time reference of importance (moment, time, point, minute, hour, day, week, month, year) and tell what happened during it. The moment can be selected on the basis of general memorability:
- What was the most memorable hour of your career at this company?
- Can you recall what day of your tenure at the university stands out most in your memory?
on the basis of emotions:
- Could you describe the week when your campaign struggled the most?
- Can you tell us about your proudest hour as a firefighter?
or in terms particular to an issue the project cares about:
- Was there ever a moment when you felt that trust in your team was either strengthened or weakened?
- Can you describe a time when you felt you had made a major discovery in your understanding of your research topic?
The advantage of this approach is that it helps people with long experience to avoid generalizing or summarizing. By asking for a particular time reference it helps people to understand that you want to know about something that happened in time, not outside of it. The disadvantage is that people might tell you what block of time was important without actually telling you what happened during it. They might say something like "The worst day was that day at the zoo." Adding "What happened?" at the end of the question can help with that.
Note in the "strengthened or weakened" example that it is perfectly okay to give two options in one question. Often people who are not willing to tell one story will tell another, and managing to ask two questions in one (without being confusing) is a good way to maximize the number of stories you get.
Asking for an event
Another method similar to asking for a point in time is asking people to select an event (episode, incident, occurrence, occasion, situation, circumstance) and tell about it (describe, recount, depict, relate). The episode can be selected on the basis of general memorability:
- What event most stands out in your mind from your years as a mail carrier?
- Can you describe an occasion you particularly remember as being important on your bus route in the past year?
on the basis of emotions:
- Is there a particular incident you feel the most distressed about that happened while you were in hospital?
- Can you recount for us an event that took place during your time here when you felt particularly calm and at ease?
or in terms particular to an issue the project cares about:
- When you think of the phrase "trust takes years to build but can be broken in a second", what one event of the past seven years stands out most in your mind?
- Could you relate to us a situation when your leadership skills were challenged?
The advantage of this approach is that it makes it clear that an event is being asked about, something happening. That may prod people who don't understand the recounting nature of the task to understand what is being asked of them. A disadvantage, however, is that people might feel that the events they remember are not sufficiently important to be counted as Events (with a capital E) and may not respond. People are terrible judges of whether something is important, especially when it comes to personal stories. If you have a particularly meek group of storytellers who think you couldn't possibly want to know what happened to them, this type of question can be hazardous. On the other hand, if you have a group disposed to pontification, this sort of question can keep them centered on the recounting of actual events.
Asking for extremes can help people
remember relevant experiences
Asking for an extreme
This approach involves asking people to recall the extremes of their experience either in general terms:
- Can you tell us about the highlight of your last project?
- What was the worst thing that ever happened in your years in the department?
in emotional terms:
- What was the angriest you ever felt in all the years you worked at this job?
- Can you remember the happiest you ever felt on the job?
or in terms particular to an issue the project cares about:
- Can you remember feeling particularly appreciated in your work?
- Have you ever been frustrated at a communication gap between yourself and your students?
The advantage of this approach is that when people are looking back over a long period of time, it can help them to choose particular incidents to talk about. Also, by asking for extremes, this approach helps people who are reluctant to speak to move beyond giving "safe" accounts of "what normally happens" to some of the things they actually have feelings about.
The disadvantage of this approach, by itself, is that if you ask people something like "Can you remember feeling frustrated?" you run the risk of them saying "Yes." Or even if you say "What was the worst thing that ever happened?" they might respond with "The bank closing." For that reason I always recommend either adding the "what happened" addendum to any extreme question or combining it with another question type, like an event or point-in-time question.
Asking for surprise and change
This approach asks people simply to remember times in which their expectations have been overturned or in which something important changed (surprise, turning point, shift, change, climax, crux, transition, crisis, critical moment). It is similar to asking for experiences or extremes, but forms its own class because most good stories contain surprises or changes of some kind.
For example:
- Can you remember a time when you were surprised at how well a project was going?
- Was there ever a moment when things seemed to shift and change, and after that nothing was the same again?
- Tell us about a memorable crisis at the police station.
- What do you think was a turning point in your thinking about international diplomacy?
- Can you tell us about a critical moment in your estate planning process?
The advantage of this approach is that it can help people who think they have nothing to say find something to say; it helps them select an event to tell about. And it can lead to some excellent stories. The disadvantage is that it opens the door for people who don't want to respond to say "No, I've never been surprised" or "No, nothing has ever changed". If you expect indifference or hostility to the questions, you might not want to give people this out. But if people are going to be meek or find it difficult to choose things to talk about (perhaps because you are asking them to reminisce about a 40 year career), this approach can be helpful.
Asking about specific decisions, people, places or things
This approach asks people to recall a particular decision, location, person or object and talk about their experiences with regard to that subject. For example:
- What happened at the moment when you decided to join our faculty? (decision)
- Do you remember the first time you walked into this courtroom? What happened on that day? (place)
- Can you recount for us the day you first met your spouse? (person)
- You've been driving this car for nearly twenty years now. When you look at it, do any special times come to mind? (thing)
The advantage of this approach is that it focuses people on something you want them to talk about. The disadvantage is that after you've focused them on the subject they may forget to tell a story about it and simply start talking about it.
Mixing approaches within one question
It is a good idea to mix different approaches to story-eliciting questions within one question. For example:
- What story do you think you might tell your grandchildren about the best moment of your career at the company? (asking for story, fictional scenario, extreme, time reference)
- Can you remember a moment in which you were surprised about the trust in your team? What happened during that moment? (time reference, surprise, issue of interest, what happened)
- Can you share with us a memory about a time you've had volunteering in which you felt the most fulfilled? (asking for story, memory, time reference, extreme, issue of interest)
Also, testing the questions you intend to use with a small group of people is a good way to find out whether they result in storytelling or not.
The pattern of questions
Repeated things merge together
It's best to avoid having more than one question of the exact same type in a row, especially if you are asking via email or some other non-face-to-face method. People are experts at quickly finding boring things and dismissing them. If you saw this on a web form:
- Can you remember a time when a project went surprisingly well?
- Can you remember a time when you felt surprisingly frustrated?
- Can you remember a time when a client was surprisingly upset?
you might turn away your attention on noticing how similar the three questions were. However, if you read this:
- Can you remember a time when a project went surprisingly well? What happened during that project?
- Can you recall for us an incident in which your frustration level went through the roof? What did you do about it?
- Did you ever have to deal with a client who was very upset? What did they do and what did you do?
You might have less trouble paying attention.
For further reading
Reader comments, tips and advice can be found on the Asking for stories Google Group page.